By Adriana N.
Divorce. The very word conjures up visions of husbands and wives battling it out in court. Not all couples that decide to split constantly fight and berate each other. Some actually remain friends, albeit not too many of them do.
In an ideal situation, when a couple decides to separate and they have children, they should sit down and talk to their kids. Most children think that the divorce is their fault. You should reassure them that it has nothing to do with them and that both of you will always love them.
If the husband moves out of the house, he usually either finds an apartment to live in by himself or moves in with a roommate. Afterwards, a schedule of visitation with the children should be established so that he is still a part of their lives and they do not think he has abandoned them.
If it is the wife is the one requesting the divorce, the first thing she should do is consult with an attorney who will create a complaint outlining what she wants to happen. For example, a woman meets with her attorney and tells him that she wants to divorce her husband. She desires custody of their two children but she wants him to have as much visitation with the children as possible. She also wants to remain living in their house and make sure that he pays child support.
Once her wishes are made known to her attorney, he will write the complaint and have a state marshal give it to the husband and then file it with the Court. A court date will be assigned so that a judge can hear the case, but in the meantime both the husband and wife have to attend parenting classes. In these classes, the couple learns how to talk to their kids about the divorce and how to support them throughout the process of the divorce.
After the couple has attended the classes, a schedule of visitation with the children will be set by the judge as well as the amount of child support and alimony, if requested, that should be paid. There is a certain way to calculate the amount of child support to be paid, which is based on the number of children involved and how much income each parent makes. The judge will also determine who can remain in the home and who will have custody of the children.
Many couples who seek a divorce are very bitter towards each other, which is can be quite sad at times. However, it is extremely important that neither parent say anything bad about the other parent in front of the children. If the children live with the mother, then the father should never talk badly about her while he is visiting with them. The same goes for if the father has custody, then the mother should never berate the father in front of, or even within earshot, of the children. The visitation is to concentrate on the children, not how much one parent dislikes the other.
Divorce can be very scary for children and the parents must make sure that they reassure the kids that they will always be there for them. Sometimes the only way a husband and wife can be civil to one another is to live apart and only deal with each other when their children need them.